Long day!

Renee was again a different person today. She was much more demanding and instead of listening when we said no she would yell at us. We had a wonderful walk around a park where mostly retired people hang out and exercise. I don't have any pictures today. None were down loaded yet. Renee had many meltdowns and Tim just left the room with her to walk around with her hoping she will stop crying and go to sleep. I feel that bonding is happening and that today even though she is feeling more comfortable with us, it is like she is mad too that she is feeling good emotions for us. She knows it is not what she really wants. We were at stores and Nathan had her. She cried out for me and called me mama and hugged me. Then it was like all of a sudden she realized that I wasn't her foster mom and she started trying to get away from me. I couldn't just put her down and let her work through her meltdown on the sidewalk. So as I held her she started to hit me, pinch me and bite me. She was pulling me hair when Tim finally got to her and he told her to stop. This does not surprise me that she acted this way towards me. Here is a blog post the talks about this very thing happening. She cried for alittle more and then we got in a cab and she stopped crying. Later she is yelling out mama(looking at me)and baba(looking at Tim) with a big smile on her face. One time while we were waiting for elevator, she ran up to me and hugged me and then ran to Tim and hugged him. She knows we are her family. She loved on us lots. Yet it was all too much for her too. She is still crying now and she called out for mama, but I went to her and she shook her head no. She is calling for her foster mom. Breaks my heart. We will leave on a plane to our next city. I don't know what that will do to her. Our guide Sissy has been so good in helping her attach to us. It is truly a God send that she is our guide. Pray that her heart will start letting go of the past and embrace the future. Also pray for me. I think that I am starting to get sick. I started to get a sore throat tonight. Renee has had a cough and runny nose. I think she is passing it to me.