This adoption journey has driven my to Sudoku!

Let me just explain to you. I do not like strategy games!! I don't even like card games that require thinking. It drives me nuts how people can keep track of what cards have been played and what cards are still out there that can be played. It ruins some great talking time with friends. :) I play these games to be polite. Sometimes I even play a hand well.:) I feel I have to apologize to my partner before we start a new round if I don't know them very well. I like to read books. A great day on a cold wintery day is a cup of coffee, soft blanket and a wonderful book! Obviously that is not possible very often anymore. Quite frankly there are times now that I just don't want to read. I can't focus or the book just seems so trivial or the ones about adoption seem pointless when I really don't have confidence we will ever adopt.
I have two boys that love strategy games. They have been in chess clubs and played in tournaments. If we get together with friends as families and play card games, my one son has done better than some of the adults. He also likes Sudoku. For Christmas in 2009 he was given one of those desk calendars that has a Sudoku to do each day. Saturday and Sunday were always very easy, Monday and Tuesday were always easy, Wednesday and Thursday were always Medium level and Friday was hard level. My son wanted me to try one so like a good mother I sat down and let him show me a few tricks that might help me. Of course we started with the very easy. After a few lessons I was able to do it. I was thrilled! So I decided to try an easy one. With more help from my son, I could do this one too. I tried a medium, but that was too much. I kept doing them. I found myself looking forward to them. My son was nice enough to let me do the easy ones from his calendar. One day I started questioning my sanity. Why was I enjoying Sudoku?! But I realized something. When I was doing Sudoku the only thing I thought about was numbers. If the nine is here, here and here, then a nine must go here too! I wasn't thinking about the adoption. :) For the last three years my head has been full of many issues. The highlights are: What country should we adopt from? How much longer until Jan. 1, 2010? When will the Maoist stop their force strike? Well, maybe April 15th the Nepal government will take our dossier. Will the Prime Minister resign and then we will have to wait for a new Prime Minister to be appointed to see anyone's paper work start being processed again? When will my paper work officially be accepted by the government? When will the wait to be officially waiting, start? Will we have to renew our homestudy that will expire on Sept. 15, 2010? When will my I-797 come? If we get the paper work we need on this date then maybe by this date we can be DTC. Ugh!
I very rarely enjoy a good book anymore. It seems so hard to start such a long book. I know that I could be reading books to prepare for adoption, but why read them if adoption is never going to happen. I just struggle to focus on something that takes a long time to do. I feel restless at times. I know that I have more work to do on paper work, but what do you do when you have to wait on other people? But a Sudoku can be done over a short period of time. It keeps my hands busy when there is no paper work to do and I am just waiting. I can enter the world of numbers and stop the maddening questions and unknown circumstances happening around me. Guess what? I even can do Medium level now. Yesterday I did my very first hard level. Ahhhh!!! What is happening to me? I need to be DTC soon. Maybe that will stop this madness.