Eight months home, no job yet and it is beginning to look alot like Christmas!

The title says it all so here are the pictures.

Catching up

It has been too long since I have posted anything. It has been a very long month in our house. Almost a month ago I received a phone call from my husband that ranks right up there with the phone call I received on Aug. 6, 2010. The August call was a shock and so was this one. My husband calmly told me that he was being completely serious in what he was going to say next. He went on to say that his job had been elimanated. Just like that we joined the ranks of the unemployed. He had just received a raise and next years assignments. Corporate(not the plant that he worked in) made the decision that since the division was projected to have a loss in sales they needed to get rid of a few people even though my husbands plant was not the cause of the loss of sales. Those first couple of days were difficult. We didn't sleep that first night. But, we have a faith in God that he is using this to bring our family to an even better place. Let me just say it is not easy. The weight of it gets very heavy, especially for my husband. He has some very good leads, but unfortunately businesses are not as motivated as my husband is. With the end of the year coming it may be until the beginning of the year before he finds something.

Just some random pictures. The first one is an outfit that was given to us. We live near South Bend which is Norte Dame territory. Needless to say people in our community are very happy this year!

Here is Renee with a play station remote that is not connected to the power. She is so happy thinking that she is playing the game right along with her big brother.

She loves to go to our neighbors house and play dress up with Olivia. They play so well together even though Olivia is 4 years older.

Finally here she is putting clips in her "Baba's" hair. Renee has really made a turning point this month. I have not been comfortable leaving her in our church nursery. I just didn't feel like she was ready. I felt it brought back too many memories for her the few times we had tried. I have left my boys crying in the nursery before, but her cries were different. Her cries were different than what she does at home. I went many weeks sitting through nursery with her and explaining at the end when parents would come to pick up their children that ma ma always come back for their child. She still didn't seem ready. She had adjusted so well in most everything, I just didn't feel like I needed to push this issue yet. Then one Sunday morning I had an idea. I had been given this necklace of an Asian girl. I hadn't wore it much, but put it on one Sunday morning about 3 weeks ago. She started playing with it as we walked up the stairs to the kids area. Then I realized what I was going to do. I got her settled in her class and then I took the necklace off and put it on her. I told her that she could wear mama's necklace. She could hold it when she thought of me and remember that mama would come back for her and the necklace. She could remember that mama loved her very much!! I gave her a kiss and a hug and walked out. She looked alittle nervous when I left, but they said that she did great. When I came back to pick her up she came running to me holding onto the necklace ready to give it back to me. She wears it every week and hasn't cried at all. When we were leaving church that first week, on the car ride home, she even seemed more happy like she even realized that she accomplished something great. She is showing so much trust and a sense of security. It truly amazes me that I can talk with her and she has the abiltiy to understand exactly what I say. How amazing just having something tangiable to hang onto would bring her such peace!

My Daughter

A year and one month ago today I saw the picture of my daughter for the first time..........Just pausing to reflect...... I will be honest, I was scared when I first saw her face. Part of the problem is the report I got about her seem so empty of information. I found out months later that the report was missing several pages. If we had received these pages we may have not been as concerned. But the paper work did not tell why they had labeled her with the special need that they did(Even the completed report didn't tell me this). We questioned if there was more going on than the paperwork said. We analyzed the picture to death. I hate to say that. She looked so confused. She just didn't seem quite right. Was she sick or had she just been woken up? Her eyes were red and puffy. What was wrong? Because of that we started questioning if there were more development issues than China said. Let's face it. When you adopt, especially since it was the special needs program, there are going to be unknowns and we knew that when we started down this road. When it finally came down to it there was nothing in the paper work that could make us say no. It was the unknowns that scared us and we couldn't control this. So we sent our LOI and celebrated our daughter by eating at a Chinese resturant.

Days later we got new pictures and answers to some of our questions and our fears melted away. There were still questons, but we knew we could deal with them and were ready to face whatever challenges that we would face. I look at the picture now and see the eyes of my daughter, but she looks nothing like this picture now. When I was in the middle of all the steps to get to our daughter, I got alittle crazy about the dates. I looked at the calendar and started counting weeks and months and trying to figure out how long it would take to hold her in our arms. I am so glad that I didn't know that it would be 7 months until we would land on US soil with our precious daughter(we have been home 6 months today). I would have colapsed in a mess of tears, but now, it doesn't matter. After a failed adoption you start to wonder if you will ever get to your child. Honestly I couldn't even hardly allow myself to think about her being in my arms. I was so afraid that circumstances that we could not control would happen in our lives and make it so that we couldn't adopt her. Now she is here and it does not matter. The timing was perfect. Here are some new pictures taken a month ago. It is so amazing to call her my daughter. Our family is so blessed. She is truly amazing!

So What's for Breakfast at your House?

Sorry for not posting any news lately. There has been a lot going on in this house. I will give the cliff notes of the events since I last posted. My teenage boys and husband went to a week long teens conference, so it was just Daniel, Renee and me for 5 days. When they got back home it was fair week. It was so hot!! We had the worst drought and high heat this summer than I have ever seen. We didn't go to the fair as many days as we usually do. (also our drought finally broke during the week of the fair. Glad to finally get the rain, just didn't feel like going to the fair in the rain) My oldest son came back home after being gone for 6 weeks on a missions trip. It is so good to have all my kids under one roof again. I need to enjoy it. He is going to a community college this year and living at home, but he has plans to leave next year to another college. When he returned home it has been a mad rush to get everything in line for him to start college(drop and add classes, pay tution, buy books, etc) including looking for a job. Since I homeschool it has been very busy for me planning a new school year. I have 2 boys in high school and they are taking a couple classes at the public high school and it was more difficult this year trying to get this lined up and making it work with our schedule. I finally have it all planned out. It looks great on paper, but with Renee in the mix of it who knows if it will work. Our school district is trying to move toward a "balanced schedule." Code word: year round school. We started Aug. 10th this year, so my kids are starting their 3rd day at school. So far so good. My parents are retired school teachers and they come up every Tuesday and spend the day teaching the kids. Today is our first day back to school with them, which finally brings me to the breakfast question. My dad likes bringing his left over Chinese food over to Renee. She gets more excited about it than she does the candy he brings for her. Today he offered it to her for breakfast and she gobbled it up using chopsticks of course! I don't have any pictures of it, but I do have random pictures of her over the past weeks.

She loved the rides at the fair, but couldn't ride very many things yet because she was a inch to short. :( She seemed to have no fear at all. I think she would have rode many more things. She could only go on rides where she rode with someone.

She loves playing with a friend who lives right out our back door. They love playing dress up. This cracked me up. They came out as pirates and then 15 minutes later they were princesses!

Here she is with a bow in her hair and I had such high hopes that now that her bangs are getting so long she would let me put clips in her hair, but no such luck. This girl loves shoes! I just found these on clearance and bought them for her. She had a huge fit when I took them off that night and she wasn't even out of her crib the next morning yet and she wanted them back on. She has worn them every day since I bought them. Of course another picture with her buddy Daniel!

Here she is decorating cookies. She did a really good job and gave a thumbs up that the cookie was good.

I am in trouble. She loves clothes and things that sparkle. She didn't want to put this in her hair for a picture to be taken, so I wore one to encourage her to wear hers. Her Aunt bought her this adorable tutu! She was so excited!

Last two pictures. Here she is after I cut her bangs. The other is a picture of me measuring her. Every August at the start of school I measure the kids. We measured her in April and she has grown a inch since then!

Zoo!

Our family has not been to the zoo in a very long time. This zoo is probably our favorite!! Enjoy the pictures!

This next picture I promised I wouldn't put on facebook, but I said nothing about my blog. My teenage boys were good sports to let me take this photo. I so remember taking their picture on this dragon when they were Renee's age.

I let my 10 year old son decide where we would ride on the merry-go-round. He wanted the tiger and guest what animal Renee got to ride on? She loved riding the panda. When we left that area she kept saying bye bye to panda.

Love You!!

Two nights ago Renee said, "Love you!" to me for the first time! Renee mimics everything we say, but never has she said "I love you." I say it to her every night when I tuck her into bed. I somehow think that that she understood that these were words that you just don't say to anyone. Tonight after I said "I love you!" she said, "Love you!" I wasn't sure I heard right so I said it to her again and she said, "Love you!" again. Makes this mama's heart sing. She has said these words many times to me now. My girl is amazing!! Makes me think what amazing first parents she had. She is so smart and it makes me wonder how amazing they must be. I am so blessed to have her as my daughter, but I will never forget the mom that gave her life. She had to be pretty special!! Renee has now been home for 3 months. There are so many milestones on this journey of adoption. The day I first saw her picture, the day we became a family and the day we returned to USA!! I still sometimes watch her and I am amazed that she is here and that we finally have her in our arms.

I love you too, Renee!! With all my heart!!

AMAZING!

That was the word of the day on Weds.! I took Renee to our children's hospital to be evaluated by the international adoption clinic. I can't believe how far she has come in just 3 months with us. Without being asked Renee showed them she could hold a pen and scribble, follow their directions(I really think she understands everything we say to her), showed them how she knows her colors, helped me put her clothes back on, put her shoes on herself and showed off the many words she knows. The doctor would just look at me and shake her head like she couldn't believe what she was seeing. She told me I was in trouble and I should start saving for college, maybe Harvard. If she is that smart I think we should focus on scholarships! :) The biggest thing we talked about was her eyes (their may be a slight chance of a lazy eye and ptosis in one eyelid) and food issues. She had extreme hiccups when we first got her. They would happen many times a day. They would sound like she was choking and sometimes would sound like burps. She is better now, but the doctor thought we might have been dealing with acid reflux. Her poop at the beginning was not solid at all. I realized that when her poop started getting better the hiccups got less also. She is not gaining weight either. I have been concerned that we were dealing with more than just her getting use to a new diet as far as the loose bowl moverments and wanted to leave a stool sample for them to test, but of course she didn't poop all day until we stopped just a mile down the road from the hospital because she had to go to the bathroom. Yup, you guessed it! She pooped!! I had taken her 3 times while we were at the hospital. I considered going back to hospital with it, but traffic was horrible, it had been a long day(Renee took no naps and it was almost 5pm and we had a 3 hour drive to get home) and the person I was traveling with would not have been amused. So now I have to get it done at our hospital. We also talked about how to get her to get all the nutrition she needed. She still loves her meat and it takes bribing to get her to eat fruits and veggies. I read books and prepared for many issues when we brought our daughter home. I remember thinking right before we left for China, what if she has issues with what she will eat? I brushed the thought aside and focused on other issues. That was one issue that I didn't put much thought into. :) The adoption issues I had put a lot of time and energy being prepared for, she had no issues with. :) The very last thing we did was blood work. I didn't know how she would do. When we were in China and she had her TB test, she didn't flinch and she watched it being done and never cried. I questioned if she was still in shock from all the changes and if she would act differently now that she has adjusted to the changes. Nope! She watched the whole thing and didn't flinch. At the very end when the needle clicked as they took it out of her arm, she cried. What a strong, amazing girl I have. Maybe she will be a doctor. :) She seemed facinated by what was happening. I feel so very blessed. This girl is going to keep us on our toes!! Each day she is becoming less of a stranger and I am falling in love with her more and more each day. My niece took this picture. She sales Mary Kay and gave her some lip gloss to put on during a car ride to the hospital. She did pretty good. She loves to be pretty.

Proud to be an American

In her first memorial day parade. "Proud to be an American" song was playing as she raised her flag high. Two months ago she was still a Chinese citizen. It was one of those moments that you just have to step back and soak it all in. Renee is my daughter, but one thing about adoption is it is a process. Not just for the child, but for the parent too. There is still so much I am processing. There are days that I look at her in her high chair and jokingly say, "How did you get there?" For those of you that have waited years and years to bring your child home, I know you understand. You would think after waiting so long that it wouldn't surprise you so much that your child is finally in your arms. Sometimes I can't believe it has only been 2 months that she has been home. Then I read blogs of those who are in China right now and it seems like so long ago that we were there in China. For those of you who have adopted. How long does it take until you really feel settled? Renee is amazing and has fit into our family so well. I think I am the one who is struggling. This is hard to admit when she is doing so well. I am not dealing with the special needs that others are. I love her so very much, yet at times she can feel like a stranger to me. Then I have to remember that I have only know her for 2 1/2 months.

My son the high school graduate!

Much has happened since I last posted. Which is also the reason I haven't posted. The last few days I finally feel like I can breathe again. May 19 my oldest son graduated and the next day we had his open house. I am so proud of my son!! Here are some pictures from the day.

My son Nathan drew these and we placed Josh's photo as the head. My son's nickname is Shaggy and he wears a lot of superman and spiderman shirts. What can I say it fits his personality. Nathan did a great job drawing these.

Renee did amazing. She didn't want to nap during his open house and I really didn't know how I would make it happen with everything going on. My sister-in-law brought her dog over during the open house. Renee loves her dog. They have had the dog for around 11 years now. Want to know what the dog's name is?...... China!!! Now whenever I talk about the country of China, Renee gets very excited, but she thinks I am talking about this dog. Too cute!

This is finally how I got her to go to sleep. She loves to go for a stroller walk. She had no idea I had tricked her.

Life is about to change again. Josh leaves for a 6 weeks mission trip mid-June. He has so much to get done before he leaves. I will miss him so much, but at least I have one more year with him. He is going to live at home and go to a community college in the fall. I am so thankful to have one more year. It has been a crazy year with adotion issues. I just want to enjoy my family. But it will be different in the fall. I was so aggravated when I had to get Josh finger printed when he turned 18 years old. I thought it was ridiculous that the government considered him an adult. Well guess what? My son is all grown up. I am so proud of the man he has grown to be. Look out world here he comes!