Where do I even begin?

Sorry it has taken me so long to post anything. We have been kept very busy and then when I have had time I felt like I couldn't put my thoughts together.
Many of you probably heard about the plane crash in Nepal. The crash happened the same day we flew into Nepal, so I had a few friends that were concerned. We actually had same mountain plane ride scheduled by the family we are staying with, but this is the 3rd plane to have an accident and they cancelled the trip because they were concerned for us.
We arrived in Nepal on Sunday and besides having to run through London Heathow airport, because the plane was late and we had one hour to get from one terminal to another, things went very smoothly. Soney's brother and husband to be picked us up at the airport. Before we even left the airport we could tell that this was going to be an interesting ride, but I had no idea what we were in for. They drive on the left side of the road like England does, but that is only if it suits them. There are no lines on the road except for one or two main roads that we saw later and even then no one obeyed them. Only on the roads with lines did we see any stop lights. There are no stop signs. Basically there are no rules for driving in Nepal. People, bikes, motor bikes, buses and cars all use road and nobody seems to care where they travel. For a little while there may be 3 lanes of traffic then someone makes another lane because nothing is coming from the other direction. Bikes are traveling right between the cars. People just walking across the road how ever they want There are no crosswalks. To keep cars on their side of the road they have placed in some places cement blocks down the center of road. Then you get to a road that looks more like an ally that we would only let cars go one direction and it is a two way road. When you come to another car, they have to inch their way past each other with inches on the one side of hitting the wall and inches on the other side of hitting the side mirrors. We laughed the whole way to Soney's house. We were not afraid, just shocked.
Soney's house has five levels. Each level has two rooms and a landing area in the middle. The 4th level has a balcony and then you go up a ladder to the 5th level where their water tank is and the hot water heater is that is powered by solar panels. No sun, no hot water! It was sunny when we arrived and I had a nice shower, but it rain later in the day and the whole next day. So no hot water today. :) Here is a view from her balcony.

The next day we went to Shankar's parent's house (who will be Soney's husband) Again it was an interesting car ride. Even if a place is only a few miles away, the traffic is so bad it takes much longer. When we arrive back at Soney's house we have to quickly get ready for her bride party. Her mother has had a sari designed for me. First I have to go downstairs to a beauty salon and have my hair put up along with Soney and her mother. Then they leave me to finish getting ready while my hair is done. Since Soney is gone I have no way to communicate. After I am done I go back looking for Soney and they find someone to help me get into my sari. Again I have no way to communicate and it was very funny them trying to tell me what to do. Then we are taken to the Raddison hotel where the party is to be. There are chairs on the stage and Soney sits in the middle one and close girl relatives sit on stage with her. So I sit next to her and get pulled into many pictures. Friends and family memebers of the bride come up to give her gifts. Most people bring money in a envelope. She has a tray in front of her that she places the gift on after she accepts. It was a very modern setting and a saw a ride variety of how people dress. Most in a sari, but there were girls that dressed very western as well. There was dancing at the end and the music was not Nepali, but many were popular Americans songs. Some from the past, but there was one that I know is popular now in America. Not Nepali dancing either. I am seeing that like most big cities true Nepali traditions are being replaced by modern ones.
Today was when my jet lag kicked in alittle. We didn't do much except hang out with Soney and her family and that was really nice. We needed a down day. Tomorrow we are going to go an hour and a half out of city to hope to see Mt. Everest. That is if the weather will be sunny. There is no point going if it is cloudy. Then we will come back and have lunch and go downtown where temples are at and shopping. The family has been wonderful about feeding us. They do not want us to eat at resturants and get sick.
That's all for now. I need to go to sleep. Enjoy the pictures.

Nepal here we come!

I can't believe the day is almost here! I am not one extreme or the other (excited or scared), just ready to go. I feel we are as ready as we can be and just waiting to leave just makes me crazy. I then start to wonder if we did forget something. It is hard to leave my 3 boys behind. (Nathan is travel with us.) They will be fine. Their week is planned out for them, but I will miss them. My youngest especially is hard to leave. We played card games and read a book together tonight. My husband put notes in envelopes for the kids to open on different days we are gone with a message from us and a surprise. Shhhhh! Don't tell. :)
My nerves are going right now, so it is hard to reflect over these past 3 1/2 years. When I am there and it is more real then I will be in a better frame of mind. I hope to post pictures and more thoughts. Thanks for following.

I love alphabet soup!

Yes, it is fall and time to enjoy the warmth of soup again, but that is not what I mean by this statement. When we were with the Nepal program, you were to get a referral and then wait to learn when you would travel. (there might have been more steps, but nothing was ever stable and predictable and of cource we never got to any of these stages) When we started with the China program, I did not understand all the steps or what all the letters meant. I found it funny, but at the same time I wanted to join the club and see the letters come together that would get us to the end of the journey and our daughter in our arms. In May we started the letter game. But now I decided to think of it as a nice bowl of alphabet soup. The letters spelled DTC first, then we were LID, then after many months longer than I wanted, we finally were LOI. Well, I have new letters today. PA baby!! Let the wait for our LOA begin!!! I think I will go enjoy a nice bowl of alphabet soup and maybe I will find that LOA! LOL!!! (sorry if it is too silly, just where my mind is going now)

Thanks Friend!!

I just pulled out a very special box tonight! Over a year ago, maybe even longer, I was helping a friend who was having a garage sale to raise money for her adoption. We knew at that time we were hoping to get matched with a 2-3 year old girl from Nepal. So she gave me a box of 2T clothes! I really thought that the clothes she was giving me were too small. But she was sure that was the size we needed. When we switched to China I really thought we would adopt a 4 year old. I knew we would never use those clothes. Now here we are matched with an 18 month old! Thanks, Jen!!! They are just what we need!! There is an adorable white dress and pink spring coat with matching hat that I see on a beautiful China girl come next spring!
I also had another box of clothes and blanket that I had collected during the wait. It wasn't very big, but I remember a day that I was at a garage sale and I just had to buy a few things. It is my "I'm believing God box!" It really is very small. I don't think that I thought I would collect very many things. See I thought we would have her home long ago. It was so fun to take those little girl clothes out and remember when I felt funny looking in the girl section of the garage sale. I didn't feel like I belonged there. I just had to do something to make it seem real that we were really going to adopt. I thought we had waited so long already. Little did I know just how long we would wait. This box was buried in the bottom of my closet, push back so I couldn't see it. What fun to find it when I was looking for my shoes!! I have had people ask me if I had pulled it out yet. Yes, I have! So happy to have these special clothes.
It is going to be so much longer than I want it to be, but I am coming for you my sweet Renee!!!

I need your help

Many of you know me by the nickname "Mama of 4 boys" I can't keep this name now! What should I change it to? I am not good at thinking up nicknames.
Things are just setting in that I am a mom of a beautiful little 18 month old girl!!! Other friends will think of things before I do. I have a friend who adopted 2 foster kids. She shared she can't wait til our daughters play together. This is a big deal because most of my friends kids are older. Such an exciting thing to think about. Others have asked me questions that I haven't even thought about. I have no idea what the answer is right now!! What an excited time this is!

I can see the sun shining over the mountain!

On Aug. 30th our phone rang! Our agency said in a very happy voice, "I have a referral for you!" I wanted to cry. It was 2pm and I had expected the call at 12pm. I was a mess. The shared list had come out the night before. I felt strongly we would be matched since we were at the top of the list, but I was scared the girl would have too many needs and we would have to say no again. But by this time(2 hours of waiting), even though it was still early, I was starting to give up hope of even getting a call.
She was not from the shared list. She was designated to our agency. Since the list was coming out soon they waited to call to just take a look at the list first. For those waiting, I don't think that list had very many minor special needs. We were at the top of the list and they found nothing for us. Well, I guess I should say that they didn't find anything that fit better than this girl. But we are not open to cleft lip/palate and our medical issues are very minor. They never tell us much about the lists so I don't have any facts.
Here she is!! Renee Wanya Marie Welling! Her Chinese name is WanYa. Birthday: Feb. 15, 2010. She is 18 months old!

Her Chinese name is very significant to us. Two months after our Nepal adoption failed, my husbands mother died of cancer. We have always planned that our daughters middle name would be my mother-in-laws middle name. What is significant is that my mother-in-laws name was Wanda Marie. Do you see it? My husband saw it right away. Our daughter will not only carry my mother-in-laws middle name, but Renee's Chinese name is amazingly simular to her first name as well! Wan means tender and Ya means graceful.
Now the question is, will be the lucky ones or will we join the century club? What do I mean by this? The next thing we will be waiting for is the China government issuing us our Letter of Approval (LOA). Some people are receiving this in 30-60 days, but there are some families that have waited over 100 days!!! The century club is not a club I want any part of. I show people her picure and the first thing people will say is, "when will you go get her?" I usually laugh first and then try to explain how I really have no idea. I hope by Feb. or Mar., but there is no way of knowing until we receive our LOA.
I want to be very honest right now and say that it was a very hard week last week. I did not instantly know that she was our daughter. There is no medical need. Her special need is slow motor development. There are two questions I have. Don't all children who have lived in an institution
have delayed development? Also, why did they label her this? There is no aanswer to this second question on the medical report. With a medical issue, you know what it is and can make a plan on how to treat it. Most would think that her special need is really no issue at all. Why even second guess yourself? The questions start swirling in your head. Are there other development issues? What did they see that made them write this down? Everyone who is adopting knows that there are unknowns when it comes to reading a medical report of a child. Honestly, I thought after spending so much time waiting for this day that it would be an emotional joyful day. Instead, it was a week of the reality of what we were doing. We had to face the unknowns and all the real life scenarios that we might face with this child. We had to go back to what we had decided from the very beginning about what we would look for when we were matched. We knew we were looking for a minor correctable physical issue. We also knew that there will be unknowns, so we had to be comfortable with what was on her report and then just trust God with what we didn't know. There was less info than we wanted on her report, but there was nothing on it that we could say no to. So Friday we sent our LOI!! So many people share on their blog that they knew the minute they saw the childs picture that this was the one. I truly believe that now, but for me it was a process. The reality is, I am still scared. So many people say that the wait is harder after you receive the referral. I am only a few days into this next phase, but I can tell you that for me it is just different. It is wonderful to finally be on my way to the otherside of this mountain, but it is different than I thought it would be. Now I have new fears I have to face. Each morning I wake up with these fears and it takes part of the day to work through them. Each day the knots in the stomach go away alittle earlier than the last. By the end of the day, I just see the face of a little girl that needs me and as many in the Chinese adoption world say, "I am over the moon!"
(I wrote the above post a few days ago. I just got updated photos and updated info! There is no doubt in our minds that this is our daughter! I shared my honest real emotions because I had never read anyone sharing this prospective and hoped that others who started out feeling this way would be encouraged that these are normal real emotions. I wonder why we doubted now! She is our daughter!)