Where are we at in our new adoption path?

Aug. 6th 2010, we got the call that the DOS had suspended adoptions from Nepal.  We had spent 20 months apart of this program and it all came to a crashing halt.  We didn't see it coming.  Things were finally moving with the Nepal government.  Referrals and travel approval were being issued.  We thought things might be finally getting into some kind of routine.  The DOS had given warnings, but I always thought it was warnings about the Nepal government.  I didn't realize they were warning us about our own government.  80 families with referrals were allowed to continue.  Last I heard 56 families are still waiting for their visa so they can bring their child home. Some have been in Nepal since August! 
On Oct. 8, my mother-in-law passed away after battling cancer.  She died very quickly and thankfully with little pain.  We were in no position to make a decision on what we should do next when it came to adoption.  As time has passed we have researched special needs and risks of countries and now with a better understanding on how other agencies work, we have changed agencies and our homestudy is being updated to China's requirements and should be ready in a couple of weeks.
Paper chase is a funny thing.  You think I would be use to it by now, but you find yourself so ready to sit down and tackle it yet you are at the mercy of other people.  I could sit down and in a matter of days, weeks get the forms filled out.  Problem is that you have to wait for other people along the way.  So you hurry and fill out forms and then you wait.  You get that back and then you can work on the next step.  You hurry up with the forms and then you wait.  It goes on like this for months. I am not a very organized person.  I work great under pressure.  So even though I could be getting some forms done, I just don't have the motivation to do them when there seems to be no point to it since I don't have back what I need.  Really?  Can I really do this paper chase again? 
I follow several blogs of families that were also apart of the Nepal program. Most of them have made a decision about what to do next.  Some of them have experienced even more adoption failures.  They understand how I feel right now. When you have a failed adoption you don't look at the next adoption the same way.  The first time you are all excited and want to meet other families that are in your agency, in the same program.  You talk about being paper pregnant and find the jewelry that says this or has a picture of the country you are adopting from.  I really don't know how to feel right now.
So here I wait.....waiting for the call that my adoption agency has received my homestudy and made corrections and then wait for my homestudy agency to make the corrections that our adoption agency ask for and then....Our homestudy will be done! and I will hurry up again :).......and wait........

My hope for this blog....

We recently experienced a failed international adoption.  It was heart breaking.  I longed for a gathering place where others who had gone through the same thing could meet and share their experiences.  I will share where we are at on our journey to bring our daughter home from China, but I also will be taking the time to look at the crisis that international adoption is experiencing right now.  I know there will be people who will disagree with me.  There are many families who have had wonderful experiences adopting and have no idea the heart break that is going on.  I see many families that feel more families should rise up to adopt.  This is true, but more than money is stopping people right now.  There are many countries that are a huge risk to adopt from.  Three countries in the last few years have been shut down by our government.  bothendsburning.org  is an organization that is fighting to save international adoption.  They want to help change the laws so that more children can find their forever families.  Too many families are having to wait years for a referral or years after a referral to bring their children home.  These children spend far too long in the orphanages before they are finally united with their family.  In our case we will never meet our Nepali princess.  It breaks my heart that so many children were left behind.  It is time for a change!  I hope that this will be a place that we can unit and comfort each other on our journeys.