Family 2014

Family 2014

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Why did you adopt me?

Isn't 3 years old alittle young to ask this question?  I have really felt an urgency to process things in my own mind so I would be ready for these types of questions.  I guess this is why I felt the urgency, but I never thought I would be answering this question so soon. So what have you said when your child asked this question?  Have you had this question yet?  Are you ready for it?  Keep it simple.  That is what I have been told.  I don't think I kept it simple and quite honestly I don't remember exactly what I said.  I had to think on my feet.  I said that God laid on our hearts that there was a little girl who needed a family.  We found you and knew you needed a family and we needed a little girl.  We loved you and wanted you as our daughter. Don't know if I like my answer.  It was first thing when she woke up.  We were looking at a picture that her brother drew for her.  There was a dragon on it and she didn't like it.  I told her that people from China feel the dragon is very special and that we adopted her in the "year of the dragon."  That is probably why the "why" question came.


We talk quite openly about the day we first met each other.  I have pictures hanging on her door that we sometimes look at before she goes to bed each night.  The first one is a picture of her and her foster mother.  I tell her when she sees it that this is the lady that took care of her until we could come and bring her home.  The next picture is my husband and I meeting her for the first time.  The next is her in my arms with my husband, my son and the orphanage assistant director .  Renee is crying with her mouth wide open.   The last is a picture is taken back home in a park of the whole family together.  I always affirm to her when we look at this picture that we are a family now.  When I point to the third picture I tell her that she is sad and scared because she didn't know who we were yet.  Months ago on her own after I had said this,  she pointed to the last picture and said, "Happy now!"  So this is the routine many times before bed.  It just amazes and overwhelms me each time that she points to herself or the last picture and says, "Happy now!" 
We have also talked enough about things that on her own she has said to me, "You weren't with me when I was born."  I know that this is the first step to realizing that there is another person for her to think about.  It won't be long until she realizes in a new way that I didn't give birth to her.  Just last night we saw baby kitties and baby chicks and I wondered if this would bring up new thoughts.  I don't have any friends who are pregnant.  I am sure that when she does see someone who is pregnant she will be asking questions.  She said to me just a few days ago, "I was born in China."  Then she looked at the person sitting next to her and asked where they were born and went around the table asking everyone the same question.  She was quite surprised to hear all the different places people were born. And so it begins.  I am so glad that we have made it a natural part of her life.

Here are some pictures that were taken at Easter.  Enjoy and let me know your thoughts on how you would answer the question, "Why did you adopt me?"
 Hunting for Easter eggs.



 


This last one is her doing her school.  I homeschool my boys and when we go to do table work she has to have her paper too.  So we are starting her letters.  She knows several letters already.  Sometimes she even knows the sound the letter makes.

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