Between culture shock and jet lag, I just haven't been able to put my thoughts together to write a post. We had an amazing time in Nepal and getting to know Soney's family. They welcomed us with open arms. Soney's parents have a very nice home and we were very comfortable, but there was nothing else that was familar. I was so proud of my son who did amazing. I think the culture shock got to me sooner than it did him.
Soney's wedding was not at all what I expected. Her parties, which there were many of them, were fun and celebrative. I had watched Nepali weddings on youtube and I was prepared for some of what would happen at her wedding, but it is so different than an American wedding.
Here are some pictures.
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I am adding these thoughts a month later. I am finding that getting out of my comfort zone is a challenge for me. It has taken distance from this event to really enjoy just what we experienced in Nepal. We were so blessed to be able to have this opprotunity. We never thought when we started this adoption journey that things would lead us to Soney. We may not have adopted officially from Nepal, but we have an adopted daughter from Nepal who is so very special. To have been invited and allowed the previledge to be with her on her wedding day was amazing. The family was amazing and we enjoyed being around them. It was hard for me to be in a culture where I am different and I don't understand the language. It is not hard for my husband and he did a much better job at trying to interact with everyone. I found myself pulling away at times because it became too much for me.(I hope people didn't feel that I didn't want to be around them. I enjoyed the people in Nepal so much.) Even when I returned I just couldn't put my thoughts into words. Soney's brother Sunny and his friends were so wonderful to take us places. They truly wanted us to have a good time. We most certainly did have a good time. We were not tourists. We were there seeing through the eyss of those who live there. I am sure that I gave everyone many laughs because of the way I acted as an American. It is a very strange thing to be in the minority. It has given me an appreciation for those here in America who come here to make a life for themselves and they are in the minority. The people of Nepal are very special people and I hope that I will continue to be accepted by them and they will forgive my American ways. I am by no means better than them. I hope that we can accept each others as equals. I truly love being around the Nepalese culture and look forward to meeting more and more people.)
I shared before I left that I wasn't sure how it would be to be in Nepal after adoptions were shut down. Of course when I saw little girls I wondered what my daughter would have looked like if we would have been allowed to adopt a 2 year old. When we were leaving Nepal at the airport, I started thinking about what it would have been like to be taking our daughter home with us from Nepal. It was like shadows of what would have been. I will always wonder about these things. I wish we could have adopted from here. There is a little girl in Nepal that will never be my daughter, but I was not sad like I thought I would be. My daughter is in China. She is there waiting for us to come and bring her home. I would not be going to get her if it was not for the time we spent in the Nepal program. When we were starting our homestudy for the Nepal program, her birth mother was just finding out she was pregnant. When she was born our homestudy was done and waiting for the Nepal government to process our documents. In Aug when our government stopped adoptions from Nepal, she was 6 months old. When we started with the China program she had her first birthday. She was not released for adoption until she was 18 months old. We had just dropped our age that we were open to adopting to 18 months. She is our daughter. She has experienced loss. I feel that through our journey of grief and loss that we were given a special gift of compassion because of what we have gone through. My prayer is that these years have prepared me to deal with the loss and grief that my little girl has gone through and will go through in the future.
We are around 40 days into our wait for our LOA. We could be half way through our wait or we might not even be half way yet. Maybe we only have 20 more days. (wishful thinking, but a girl can dream)
My latest realization is that we are going to have to submit an I-800a supplement. This means more paperwork and more money. My oldest son will be turning 18 before we can bring our daughter home. The government wants every adult in the home to be fingerprinted. UGH!!! He is my son. He is not another adult in the house. Some days I feel he is not even close to being an adult. Other days I am shocked at how close we really are to him being an adult. Why couldn't he have a Mar or April birthday. Of course that my not even be good enought if our LOA takes 130 days to come! OK, before I get myself too worked up, I better stop and just enjoy each day of this journey. Fretting about the future does not make it come any sooner. I will live each day one day at a time and try to deal with things as they come. Believe me I have much to do before my Renee gets here.
