We never thought this would happen.....

We have some very exciting non-adoption news. I have hinted about this in past posts, but it is now official. We will be visiting Nepal at the end of September!!!
Two years ago when we were in the process of adopting from Nepal we went to the Curry House in Chicago. Our waitress was from Nepal. We exchanged e-mail addresses and have visited each other often during the last two years. After several monthes of knowing us, she started calling us her American Mom and Dad. Here is a blog post about her and her husband when we visited Chicago back in May. They are going back to Nepal to be married and we have been invited to stay with her family and attend the wedding. Since we are not matched with our daughter from China yet and we will not be traveling to bring her home this year we felt that we just couldn't say no. A year ago I didn't think that I could visist Nepal knowing we would not be bringing our daughter home with us. We fell in love with Nepal and want to go and meet the people that we became connected to in this country. We hope to be able to visit an orphange that we got connected to while we waited. They were not apart of the children that were being adopted internationally. We also have connections with an organization that rescues girls at the border of Nepal and India from being sold into sex slavery. Most importantly we get to meet the parents and family of a wonderful girl that calls us Mom and Dad. We will be able to learn so much about her culture and be a part of her wedding. She is honoring us with such a priceless gift. We are so blessed to have met her and her husband. It was so painful when our adoption failed last year, but had we not been down this path, we would have never met her. She is our daughter and someday we may have Nepali grandchildren.
I know there will be times it will be difficult on this trip. It will be heart breaking to see the injustice of the situations in Nepal, but again as I have said before, I don't want to have any regrets. I don't want to avoid it because it will cause me pain. This journey has taken on a life of its own. I feel like we have to see it through to the end and see where it leads. It amazes me the people I have met and the things I have learned. I would have not chosen this path for myself, but I would not trade it either.

Starting School

What a week it has been. I don't spend much time talking about my kids, so I thought since I have nothing new to say about adoption and the wait continues on, let me share about each of my kids.

My oldest, Joshua, dressed up for an 80's night as "Shaggy" (I tried to tell him that it more like the 70's, but he didn't care.) He had such a good time with it that he is telling people his nickname is Shaggy. He started his senior year. He is part time homeschooled and part time at a career center at an area high school for advertising design. He loves it! It was a great first week at school. I really look forward to where this will lead him in the future. He wants to go to college for graphic design. The career center will help him get certified in photo shop and he will have some college credit at the end of the year also. Just can't put into words the emotions of this week. But it makes me happy!

Nathan, my second oldest, is on the far left.(Josh is at the far right and my third son Jeremy is next to him) This is a picture of them on the bus to a youth conference. Nathan started 9th grade this year. He is taking 2 classes at the high school, one homeschool class; biology, that meets once a week and the rest of his classes are at home. He is loving the classes at the high school. One is a drawing class. (I have shown some of both Josh and Nathan's art work in past blogs.) He will be playing basketball this year. I can not believe I have two high schoolers!

Jeremy is in 8th grade. (I have 3 teenagers!) Last year he went to state competion with chess. He got 13th out of about 65 players in his age group. He has just started Boy Scouts this year. This has been a good thing for him. He is just not a organized sports team player. Nice to find something that fits him. He has had some learning struggles and we are really working on some of them, especially writing. He is such a hard worker and very determined to get his work done quickly. He is the first one up everyday and gets right to his assignments as soon as he eats breakfast. Makes my job so much easier. He is a man of few words. When he does talk, he gets my full attention because who knows when he will share again. He has a wonderful smile!

Daniel is on the left. We got TP one day and Daniel and his friend had fun stuffing it up their shirts. Daniel is in 4th grade. He is my very active and very talkative child. His life revolves around swords, swords, and paper(or any other kind) airplanes and all the sound effects that go with it. He also has become very good at swimming. We found a neighbor who invited us to come over anytime and use their pool. I begs me everyday if we can go. He is turning into a fish and I am wondering if I should look for a swim team for him. He is my stubborn child, which makes teaching him very interesting. After a nice talk from Dad we have been having better days, but somehow at the beginning he thought I was just asking too much of him. Funny how the threat of not getting to spend time with friends makes school not so hard after all. By the end of the day, I just want to find a room and enjoy the silence. I love him. Life is never boring!
I love my boys. There is something very special about being a mom of all boys. So why do I continue on this journey of adoption? I guess because I don't want any regrets. I really desire to have a daughter. My daughter is out there and I will continue to fight for her.
OK, I was trying to forget about it, but I do have something about adoption to share. I thought a new list of children would be released Monday, but rumor has it that it will be another week still. It is only a week, but when I thought we could be matched with our daughter in a few days, a week just sounds too long. Every month for at least this whole year China has released the new list of childern on the 4th Monday. I just assumed that it would happen this month as well and I have been counting down the days. Why do I keep assuming that things will continue the same when nothing in the adoption world stays the same for very long. When will I learn? Why does this journey reduce me to wanting to act like a child? I wanted to throw my phone across the room when I got the message, stick out my tongue and have a tantrum screaming "that's just not fair!"
So we wait another week. Really does this journey have an end? I have spent so long on this side of it that I can't even imagine myself anymore on the other side.

August 6, 2010

It hard to believe that it has been a year since I received a call that shattered my dreams. Things were starting to look so good for adopting from Nepal. I still can remember what time of day it was and what I was doing. It was early afternoon and I was just getting ready to log on the computer and see if there was any new news about Nepal. My cell phone rang and I heard the ringtone of my adoption agency. They were suppose to call that day, but not until later in the afternoon. That should have been my first clue that something was wrong. I answered and immediately knew something was wrong when my caseworker sighed before she started talking. I remember sitting down in the chair just in shock when I heard the news that our government had suspended adoptions from Nepal. Just the week before they said they were happy with the progress that Nepal government was making and then out of nowhere came this. I remember sitting there with tears streaming down my face not saying anything as my caseworker talked on and on. My husband was home and saw I was crying and continued to work in the garage with the door open just watching and waiting for me to tell him what was going on. I remember us just sitting in the living room together just in shock. Our minds just couldn't comprehend what we had just heard. The kids were not around and I do not remember why now. I remember just walking around going through the motions, but not feeling like I was really there.
Children of Nepal, I will not forget you!!
Please read an article that puts words to what I have always wanted to say when someone asks me why we can't adopt from Nepal. This is why international adoption is in a crisis and countries close and you will continue to see countries close to adoption. Please read!!

I will not forget the children that are being left behind because of politics. They are the innocent that are being punished.