Thanks my blog friend!!

I want to share a post of a someone that I have not yet met, but I hope to very soon. You see our girls are in the same orphanage and we are both on about the same timeframe to receive travel approval. We have the same adoption agency also. Oh, how I hope we will travel together!
She wrote something very meaningful in her last blog post. You see she went through a failed adoption too. She has been trying to deal with something just like I have been also. Making sense of the grief and loss in adoption and how to explain to other people and just what that means to our daughter and our family. I am not talking about the failed adoption(although there was definitly grief and loss there). I am talking about the grief and loss my daughter has gone through. I am not sure if I like the phrase "meant to be" or that she is so lucky to be apart of our family. Yes, there are things that have happened in this journey that lets me know that she is our daughter and I am so thankful that through the twists and turns of this journey that we persevered to the end. But God didn't want my daughter nor was it "meant to be" that she suffer abandonment, or that her birthmother would be left wondering about her. The free will that we have in this world makes an imperfect world were evil abounds and where people are left with sometimes terrible choices. God knew she needed a family to love her and I believe that he placed a desire in my heart years ago for a daughter so she could have a family. I am sad that she can not be with her biological family. I pray daily that God will give her the grace and mercy to work through all these tough issues. Here are some quotes from my friend's blog:

I’ve also heard people saying that this is where God has planned for her to be all along - in our family. Sorry folks, but we’re a VERY distant second-best option. One would be sorely mistaken to post that just because her first family resides in that area of China and we reside in this area of America, that we are where God planned for her to be from the start. Nope. I don’t buy it. My God does not orchestrate that kind of grief and hardship; rather, my God is grieving right along side her and her first family. So, while we rejoice in little Abbie joining our family and we promise to love and care for her just as we do the children born to us, there is a tremendous loss that she and her first family have experienced and continue to experience. I refuse to believe that is God’s plan.

Couldn't have said it any better than her. I do not understand the mysteries of God. There are many things we have to take on faith. Whether you believe in God or not we all live by some kind of faith. I am putting my faith in the one true God. No matter what life throws at me, no matter how horrible or painful it is, it would be 10 times worse if I had to face it alone without God. You see I went that path after our first adoption failed. I was miserable!! I never want to go back there. Life does not at times make sense, but life without God makes even less sense to me. Do I believe God is all powerful and all loving? YES! Does it always make sense in this world? NO! Why? I am not God! I do not and will never have the mind of God. Just like a baby will never have a mind(maturity) like his parents, I will never understand God. A baby doesn't know why they have to have a painful shot so they won't get a disease. I can never explain it to them while we sit in the doctor's room. I will not understand the pain that God has allowed me to go through at times as well.
We have no idea what our daughter has gone through. We don't know how she will choose to look at the circumstances that brought her into our family. But we will tell her of the journey to get to her and how we trusted and followed God. Here is a verse that has helped me as I have tried to make sense of everything that has happened on this journey and I hope can help Renee as she looks at the losses in her life. Isaiah 44:8,9 is God speaking and He says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, and neither are your ways my ways declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." I can not understand all that I see. I am not God. This verse by itself may not help you look at God as a loving God. But I will believe the promise God gives me in Jeremiah 29:12, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord," plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. In the midst of the hard things that come in life no matter what life throws at us, God has a hope and a future for each of us. That includes my daughter!
Wow! I just looked at the side bar and see that today marks one year that we started our journey in adopting from China. It won't be long until our daughter is finally in our arms. I know that God will use all that we have been through to help us have some understanding and compassion as we face the challenges of this next year. :)